Head. In. The. Sand. And. Staying. There.

Today my counter top arrives.

Honestly, soon I will stop talking about my kitchen. What do you care? You're not reading this. Because I haven't told anybody about it. But maybe in a year or so, when I get round to it, you will read this and then you'll be sorry because I never stop banging on about my kitchen. You see? Apologies were in order.

Exciting. Because it's 4m long. The kitchen is 4.08m long. And on a first floor that you have to double back on yourself on the stairs to get to. It is potentially NOT AT ALL possible to get this counter top into the kitchen. But what am I doing about it? Am I applying to God/ Brian Cox to ask to bend the laws of physics for half an hour. No I am not. I am simply waiting to see how it all unfolds.

But the upside is I'll take pictures and this will entertain anyone who looks at them on my camera because I don't really know how to download them.

Good luck. You'll need it.